Fazila Bibi, nearly one year from the earthquake tells us of her experience
Sunday, 1 October 2006
Ann McFerran writes "A Life in the Day of Fazila Bibi", who lost fours of her sons during the earthquake in Pakistan, almost one year ago. This appeared in the Sunday Times October 1st.
Fazila Bibi, 48, lost four sons in the Pakistan earthquake nearly a year ago.She now lives with her surviving son and two daughters, her newly born grandson, and seven other family members in a tent in Galalabad Park, Muzaffarabad.
"I sleep very badly, and sometimes I get so worried another earthquake is coming, I don't sleep at all.In the early hours the other night I was convinced one was about to strike and I made my family all get up.But it was just a bad dream.
There's 12 of us in the tent. The men sleep at the front; the women at the back.We wake before dawn to offer prayer and recite the Holy Koran.Then we'll make tea at about 5.30am.
On the morning of the earthquake, because it was Ramadan, we'd woken early, at 3am, and cooked chicken and rice, with yoghurt and tea in preparation for that day's fasting.
When the sun rose that morning its light was pale and the air was dusty and dark. It felt as if something terrible was about to happen. After I milked my buffalo I sat talking to the teachers - part of our house was used for Islamic studies.
Then the earth started to shake beneath our feet. The mountain roared like the sound of many planes and fell on top of our house. It was so terrifying I thought it must be the Day of Judgment.
Four of my sons were killed by a 100 foot land slide falling on top of our house. My daughter Roxanne was buried deep in the rubble.
My surviving son, Abdul Shakoor, was thrown against the wall which then fell on him. I was under the rubble. My stomach was badly injured and I was choking with blood and rubble. It tasted bitter and salty, like lime.
I'll never forget the first sight of dead children. Their blood had congealed their school books into their mashed up bodies.During that terrible day the bodies of my sons were recovered: first my 19 year-old son, Nargis with his skull smashed up. Immediately I knew he was dead.
It was the same with the crushed bodies of Aishwarya, [13] and Jared [nine].Ans [11] was last to be pulled out, and he had only a small injury on his forehead so he appeared to be sleeping.But his body was cold.
That afternoon, I, myself, dug holes in the ground to bury my sons. I don't know how I kept going.Roxanne the last to be pulled out, later that day. She was almost unrecognizable but when we pressed her body she was still breathing.
For four days, we stayed in the open air, pulling out bodies and burying them. We thought we would be killed too, in the aftershocks. Then the army got through, and I was taken to my brother-in-law's house in Islamabad. No houses remained in our village, 118 out of of 180 people who lived there died.
Later we were told if we returned to Muzaffarabad we would receive compensation and temporary housing.What that meant was 25,000 rupees each (£219) and tents in what was once a beautiful park.
So far we've had very little from the government and we never see them. It is the international NGOs, like Concern and Islamic Relief who give us food and have been kind to us, and we weep with gratitude.
At first living in the tents was difficult. There were no latrines so we women could only defecate early in the morning.When the camp got very smelly, we told the NGOs “we don't care if we have nothing to eat but please give us latrines. The NGOs built latrines, and they give us flour and rice.
We cook the main meal at 12.30pm - vegetables and rice. When I see the children return from the camp's temporary school I think sometimes I see Ans.But Ans is dead.He was particularly dear to me, a cute looking child and very religious.
I pass most days in prayer, mourning my dead children.After lunch we sit under the trees talking of what we’ve lost and what’s happening now. We have nowhere to live; no jobs; to get the rest of the compensation of 75,000 rupees (£657) the government wants us to leave the park. But the mountains dangerous.There could be another earthquake so why should I return?Life is more important than money.
When it gets dark we try to sleep but my daughter has a permanent headache because she was buried so deep. She'll cry with pain and bang her head. Recently my son Abdul's wife gave birth.People have said this birth should give us hope but it has increased my grief.I watch him sleeping and think of my dead children before the earthquake.
After ten years marriage I'd begged Allah for children, and I was blessed with five sons and two daughters. I was a happy woman who lived in a big house and ate every day surrounded by my children.Until the earthquake I was the sort of person who gave to beggars; now it is I who has no home.
We are like travellers with nothing and we must make do and take joy in small things.The earthquake has spared me but what will happen to me now? Will the Earth give me some space to live in it?"
